Car horoscope for the week of March 12 to 18

Pin
Send
Share
Send

The content of the article:

  1. Auto horoscope from 12 to 18 March
    • Aries
    • Taurus
    • Twins
    • Cancer
    • a lion
    • Virgo
    • scales
    • Scorpion
    • Sagittarius
    • Capricorn
    • Aquarius
    • Fishes


This road week will be challenging but exciting. The March stars gaze curiously at the earth's highways and watch disheveled pedestrians and strange traffic cops. The law enforcement officers stood on stilts together and tried to portray Uncle Styopa - everyone remembers this tall policeman, a favorite of children and adults. The patrol guys celebrate Mikhalkov's birthday and solemnly walk around the posts (and they don't even take fines, have they really realized and corrected themselves?). Let us sound loudly in honor of the poet Sergei Vladimirovich and go about our business. But it is advisable not to lose vigilance - spring is spring, and a slippery winter is in no hurry to leave.

Auto horoscope from 12 to 18 March

Aries

Aries, this week in March you are under close scrutiny - followed by stars, traffic cops, and even pedestrians. Do not worry, the hidden camera doesn’t take pictures of your iron horse, and you don’t have to smile and wave the handle. But follow the rules so as not to get into an awkward situation. If your car is suddenly stopped by the patrol guys, do not be alarmed - a routine check. Only the traffic police are behaving somewhat strangely - either they take a rabbit out of their cap, or turn the rod into a stick of smoked sausage. Surely they decided to celebrate Igor Kio's spring birthday and surprise the drivers with tricks. If only they didn’t take to sawing, otherwise they would.

Taurus

Taurus, everyone takes an exam every day - who is on the right, who is on knowledge of the language, and who is on stress resistance. But this spring week only pleasant road surprises await you and your beloved four-wheeled girlfriend. If you have to stand in a traffic jam, do not swear - the stars have enchanted the March romance, yes, right on the track. But do not fall in love with the drivers of expensive foreign cars and only wink at the drivers of the opposite sex in domestic cars. When you notice the gray-haired physicists voting, slow down and offer your help - you won't get bored with such funny fellow travelers, because the guys are celebrating Albert Einstein's birthday.

Twins

Gemini, sometimes it's better to skip than overtake - keep that in mind and your road week will be glorious. Although your car is a leader by nature, the iron horse loves speed and hates to slow down. We'll have to promise her delicious oats, or rather gasoline, and take her to an expensive car wash. If you meet bald two-legged guys with moles on their skulls, do not call your friends psychiatrists and do not drink soothing decoctions - people celebrate the day on which the first and only president of the Soviet Union was elected. The stars talk about Misha Gorbachev, and the four-wheeled girlfriend remembers him exactly, although this event happened almost thirty years ago (time flies like a reckless driver on the highway).

Cancer

Crayfish, please note: this week compact cars are rushing along the roads - they will squeeze into any place, and cars have no problems with parking. Have the authorities really thought about a comfortable ride and forced everyone to change into small cars? But you still will not exchange your horse for anyone, and the iron beauty is immensely grateful to you. Look how it rushes along the March roads and does not notice either the indignant traffic cops or the frightened pedestrians. By the way, do not be surprised if in another traffic jam you will be drawn to sleep - all the drivers are already snoring and smiling blissfully. The chauffeurs celebrate World Sleep Day, and even the patrol guys yawn and try to make pillows out of stiff wands.

A lion

Lions, it is difficult to imagine a car enthusiast without a compressor - this unit is useful for pumping the wheels and for blowing out dust from the most inaccessible places. The stars did not just start this conversation - it's time to clean up the garage. You can also touch up the fence - again with the help of a compressor. And when you get tired of working, jump into the driver's seat and taxi to the nearest village. The people celebrate the holiday of Gerasim Hrachevnik, and the hostesses bake rooks from dough - hurry up, maybe you will get some yummy. But don’t treat the traffic cops - look, the uniform doesn’t fit anyway, they’ll undress and sport shirts, catch a cold and stop following the traffic order.

Virgo

Virgo, your car feels great both on a deserted highway and on a busy highway. Take an example from her and do not grumble about the rise in gasoline prices - what can you do, do you like to ride, love and pay for fuel. However, in these March days there is a chance to catch a road "freebie" - generous fellow travelers are a dime a dozen. But don't bring uncles in tight pants - the guys celebrate the birthday of ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev and dance wherever they have to. Suddenly, right in the car, they will begin to portray small swans, and your iron horse does not tolerate fuss. Let them dance on zebras or near traffic police posts - the traffic cops will appreciate and even distract from the road (roll faster until you are spotted).

Scales

Libra, during this March period you can get an unforgettable experience even in your familiar and familiar garage. But the stars advise not to dive into garage worries and hit the road - the iron horse dreams of long roads and fun adventures and whimsically kicks up the wheels and waves the wipers. And old women wander along the roads, loaded with manure bags - the people celebrate the day of Konon the gardener, on which it is customary to fertilize the beds. Pensioners do not care that the weather is not yet suburban - it is necessary, therefore, it is necessary. Give grandmothers a lift and exchange phone numbers - the first harvest will be yours, especially since the four-wheeled girlfriend loves to listen to stories and discuss pension reforms.

Scorpion

Scorpions, someone drives along mountain gorges, someone likes to conquer village tracks, but give you a wide, smooth road with brand new asphalt. Why not? - ask the road stars and fulfill all your wishes. After all, the iron horse behaved well and deserved a fast ride. But make sure that your extreme car does not tease the traffic cops - the March law enforcement officers do not forgive mistakes. By the way, pay attention to drivers and pedestrians - there are very few unshaven men among them. Everyone celebrates the day that production of the first electric razors began. It happened almost 90 years ago in the United States, but your four-wheeled friend is not interested in the details.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, this March week will be hot but not in terms of weather - a lot of road adventures and fun situations are expected. Hold on tightly to the steering wheel and roll along the chosen route. But try to choose trails without mud - a four-wheeled cleanliness doesn't like to splash in spring puddles. By the way, do not round your eyes if you notice that new trees have grown on the roadside - funny Chinese with seedlings are rushing along the roads. Nothing special - China celebrates tree planting day. If only birches did not appear on the zebras and oak trees did not appear at the traffic police posts. And then the traffic cops will immediately settle down in the shade and start singing patrol songs - and how can you concentrate on driving?

Capricorn

Capricorns, do not run after departing buses and do not overtake patrol cars - follow these rules and the road week will be positive. By the way, speaking of buses - during these March days it is better to use public transport. And the wheels will remain clean, and you will be calmer - no traffic jams, no rudeness, no traffic cops. And if there is a conflict with the conductor or passengers, conduct an educational conversation.Indeed, on spring Tuesday everyone celebrates Makarenko's birthday, and people remember Anton Semenovich as a famous teacher and writer. But you do not need to arrange garage lectures - your car will do without moralizing (the horse is already obedient).

Aquarius

Aquarians, stars know that you do not faint at the sight of a tiny scratch on the hood and do not throw hysterics over a leaky cover. Moreover, you will not be scared by a traffic jam or a meeting with the traffic police - this March week will be both. In a kilometer-long traffic jam, read children's fairy tales, and while communicating with the traffic cops, sing songs (preferably mentally). If your passengers suddenly begin to squeak, depicting chickens, do not rush to land them - most likely, the guys decided to celebrate the International Pi Day. Yes, there is such a holiday, and the iron horse allows you to stick a poster on the trunk with the painted number "3.14" (they say that Babylonian magicians discovered this number).

Fishes

Fish, attempts to unload the transport system in big cities, as always, did not lead to anything - traffic jams did not disappear, and there were no fewer cars. But somewhere there are cars with a capacity of almost 300 people - that would be a ride on such iron horses, you can collect all your relatives and friends and even go to a picnic. But we will have to return to our roads - this spring week belongs to you (and of course, your favorite swallow). Drive wherever you want, and if you encounter injustice, feel free to swing your rights - celebrate World Consumer Rights Day. Return low-quality gasoline, sue communal services for poor coverage - but you never know what you can think of.

Cool auto jokes:

Pin
Send
Share
Send